Q: My daughter is now 13 months and still has not slept through the night. I have to breastfeed her through the night while she sleeps with me, because she will only last in her crib for one to two hours (like a normal afternoon nap time). I want to wean her off the breast. Is this too early? How can I get her to sleep longer? I try letting her cry, but she has never cried herself to sleep—ever.
A: Many children do not sleep through the night at your daughter’s age. It is not unusual at all. Sleep is like any other milestone in a child’s life—similar to walking, talking, and starting solid foods. Children begin to sleep longer as they are developmentally ready to reach this goal. Our society is one that seems to push children towards this goal, but like every other milestone, it is best to let each child reach it at her own pace. You might enjoy reading Nighttime Parenting by Dr. William Sears. This is a commonsense, kindly approach to sleep issues that will give you ideas to ponder.
Weaning is a personal decision, one which many mothers also leave up to the child, but which some mothers encourage for reasons of their own. The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages breastfeeding for at least a year. While some interpret this to mean that the child should stop breastfeeding at one year, others interpret it to mean that one year is a minimum, and there is no maximum. Ask yourself if you are enjoying your nursing relationship. Think about how you would mother her without nursing. Have you attended a breastfeeding support group, such as La Leche League? You might consider attending a regular or toddler group and discussing your concerns with the leader and other mothers who are in attendance. Sometimes moms feel all alone in certain mothering situations, and find peace in knowing that their situations are normal and that many mothers are experiencing the same kinds of concerns.
You will notice I have not given you a definite answer. That is because you have asked a personal question, and the choices you make will need to be the ones you feel most comfortable with. There are no clear cut answers. At any rate, you have a lucky baby, who has been lovingly mothered and cherished.
By Ann Calandro
BSN, RNC, IBCLC Lactation Consultant
