Lisa Sanders was anxious when her infant son, now 2, tended to vomit after she nursed him.

"The doctor said that it was not a problem, that he was still getting his nourishment,” says the Hume, Va., mother of two. “Little did I know that it was his 'mannish' eating habits – he still gobbles everything and swallows without chewing!"

By contrast, his older sister was a steady, more focused nurser, and this difference in their breastfeeding styles shows in their personalities today, Sanders says. Her daughter, now 4, is a more consistent eater, while her son is less so, is "easily distracted, and continues to be very active and interested in everything."

Nursing patterns are usually as individual as the babies themselves – and part of the way parents come to know more about their child, notes lactation consultant Vicki Nizin of Ridgewood, N.J.

Nurturing Their Individuality
"I had three very different eaters," notes Tina Pavich of Noblesville, Ind. "My first was like a turtle, extremely slow. She savored every morsel and didn't seem to want to give up the time that she nursed."

Baby No. 2 was "a gobbler – no stops, just gulp, gulp, gulp," says Pavich. "She nursed until she was ready to drink from a cup at 7 months. She was also like clockwork every four hours, whether I was ready or not."

Daughter No. 3 was "a 'suck and stopper.' After a few sips, she would happily look around as my breasts leaked, then she would latch back on when she was ready."

Some newborns "snack" in this way, says Nizin, taking in just enough to satisfy their appetite, waking and nursing more frequently to take in these smaller amounts.

A child's nature often shows in her nursing patterns. "Alyssa, the dainty eater, is today a very girly-girl, petite and sensitive," Pavich says. "Andra, the guzzler, tackles life head on; she is full of life and full of energy. Alivia, the take-it-or-leave-it eater, did things at her own pace when nursing and that is true of her today."

"I naively expected both of my children to nurse the same way," says Angie Best-Boss of Anderson, Ind. For her oldest, "nursing was about sustenance and nothing more. She nursed only to get full as quickly as she could so she could go play. When we introduced solids, she wanted more and more."

For her younger daughter, nursing means comfort. "She refuses bottles, even of expressed milk, and all forms of baby food,” she says. “She likes to nurse when she's tired or upset, even just for five minutes. For Clara, I am the human pacifier."

Getting Down to Business – or Not
Young, sleepy infants sometimes worry their mothers, who may also feel anxious about breastfeeding as they struggle to become accustomed to it, says Nizin.

"When he was sleeping so much, it was hard to keep him awake to nurse for long and I was afraid he wasn't getting enough," says Tullahoma, Tenn., mother of three Tina Warren about her sleepy newborn.

Breastfeeding behaviors grow and change rapidly at different stages of development, says Nizin, something Warren has witnessed in just eight months.

During his first three months of life, her son was "all business" at the breast, yet also sleepy. "For the first few weeks I had to tickle his feet to keep him awake long enough to empty my breast," she says. Lactation consultants often recommend massage or a similar tactic to ensure that a sleepy baby stays awake long enough to get what he needs. A diaper change between feedings at each breast can also accomplish this.

By three months of age, Warren's son was "nursing every time his eyes popped open," and growing much more active at the breast. When he nurses now, he pulls off with every noise and stands, plays with his toes, or sometimes bounces up and down," she says.

Where younger infants are more focused on getting the satisfaction and nourishment of what the breast provides, older children like Warren's son are more apt to blend this with social interaction.

"The first time he looked at me and smiled while still latched on was a wonderful moment," she recalls.

"Both of my kids liked to caress my face as they nursed," says Sanders.

Awareness of what's going on around them can also decrease babies' interest in nursing. "Kaylyn wanted to nurse standing up and watching TV if she could," says Best-Boss of her older daughter. "She finally weaned at 10 months because she didn't want to sit still."

Sometimes, breastfeeding babies become too distracted by their surroundings to nurse properly, notes Nizin.

Best-Boss' younger child "got so overwhelmed when we had a ton of company at the house for her dedication that she went on a nursing strike for three days,” she says. “She would only nurse in her sleep. I was terrified she would get dehydrated."

To remedy the situation, Nizin recommends that mothers find a quiet room or space to help nursing babies settle in. At any age, babies often seek "comfort nursing – nurturing warmth, cuddling and suckling – and they may need more solitude to do it.

As a mother gets to know her baby, the child's nursing patterns will make more sense, Nizin says. Mothers should feel confident in the knowledge that experience really is the best teacher.

"Three girls, who look so much alike, are so different underneath," says Pavich of her experience.

"Trust your baby to know what she needs, once she gets into the swing of things," says Best-Boss.

Want to see more?

• Breastfeeding: Starting Out Right
• Dinner Theatre: Breastfeeding the Distracted Baby
• What to Do if Your Child Refuses to Nurse
• Talk about it!