A New Mom’s Experience
By Kathy Berry Irvin
If someone had told me five years ago that I would be breastfeeding my baby for more than a year, I would have thought they were crazy.
First of all, I have always been very career oriented and assumed that breastfeeding would probably cramp my executive style. While I always thought that breastfeeding was best for Baby, I figured that I would do it for a “reasonable” period of time and then revert to formula. I didn’t consider myself the “earth mother” type who would nurse wherever and whenever the baby desired and for however long the baby wanted. The image of having a child who could ask for the breast by name was at the same time hilarious and horrifying.
I also remembered all too vividly my sister-in-law’s experience. Breastfeeding was rife with difficulties for her. When she said that they had brought in a “lactation specialist” to help them, I almost chuckled. I thought that a lactation specialist was probably some ridiculously obscure professional with a ridiculous title. It just goes to show that I had no clue.
After several weeks of trying to make breastfeeding work, my sister-in-law finally decided to throw in the towel. At her OB/GYN’s advice, she stopped cold turkey and suffered terrible pain from engorged breasts. I was visiting at the time and witnessed that painful chapter. I remember watching her in agony as she tried to manually pump exceedingly engorged breasts. It was awful.
The Preparation
When I got pregnant, I started to read about every aspect of birthing a child. I decided that I really wanted to give nursing my best shot. My husband and I had decided that I was going to be a full-time mom, and I was pretty excited about dedicating myself to this new little life. I figured that nursing would work well with the full-time mommy role.
I bought several books on the subject and signed up for a breastfeeding class through the hospital. I tend to be an experiential learner, and the class was a great way to get focused on this one aspect of having a baby. My husband thought that it was odd that I asked him to join me for the class, but he was pleasantly surprised that most of the pregnant women showed up with partners. As I later discovered, having a supportive partner is critical to nursing success.
I can still remember quite clearly the concerns that I had during pregnancy:
- The one that was just too embarrassing to talk about in public was: How can having another living being sucking on your breast not be sexual?
- I also wondered if my nipples were going to function as they were intended to. Not to get too graphic, but my nipples had never been very prominent, and I wondered if they would be acceptable to my child.
- After witnessing my sister-in-law’s experience, I was also really concerned about avoiding engorgement.
Real-life Breastfeeding
The night our daughter, Sara, was born, I was so intent upon nursing her that I kept asking the nurse if I could start trying. I nursed her within an hour of birth, and she was a natural from the beginning. I still remember feeling relieved that she “got it” right away. Honestly, I think it is important for the parents to be knowledgeable and prepared about breastfeeding, but I also believe that the baby plays a huge role in determining whether nursing is going to work.
In no time, I found out for myself the answers to the questions that had initially concerned me.
The sexual aspect:
First of all, nursing for me was definitely NOT a sexual experience. It is incredible how the body works (and how quickly it can shift gears), but my body has totally different reactions to my baby and to my husband. Nursing is incredibly relaxing and calming, which is a big plus in those early postpartum days. Many women nurse happily in bed for that reason, dozing in and out with the infant.
Nipple cooperation:
As for the nipple concern, no problem there. Sara was very capable of taking what I had to offer and making it work for her.
Engorgement:
This is a real concern, and I have to say that the first week postpartum is definitely the toughest. My milk came in the day I came home from the hospital, which often happens. I worked with a lactation specialist in the hospital, but at that time, just the colostrum was present. Once my milk came in, it was a whole new ball game, and I felt overwhelmed. I remember trying to figure out my new pump, so that I could pump myself down and make my breasts easier for Sara to latch onto. Luckily, Sara was an incredible nurser and handled even the toughest situation (and the hardest breast).
Nursing Issues
But there were several other issues that came to the forefront during my postpartum time.
Twenty-four-hour job/bottles:
It is hard to imagine the rigors of the first few weeks postpartum when you are pregnant with your first child. I’ll be honest. In the beginning, there were moments when nursing felt like a huge burden. I was the only one who could give Sara what she needed. And the first months are all about milk, milk and more milk – 24 hours a day. There was more than once that I considered waking up my husband and telling him to get the formula ready. But I persevered, and it just kept getting more and more manageable. I did introduce a bottle fairly early on (3 1/2 weeks postpartum), and Sara had no problem with nipple confusion.
I know several moms who never introduced a bottle and have subsequently had less time away from their babies. For me, the bottle has meant freedom – freedom to have babysitters, a night out with my husband, even a couple of nights away from the baby. Nursing and using bottles has been the right combination for me.
Leakage:
The good news was that I produced a lot of milk. The bad news was that I leaked a lot of milk. Nursing pads were my constant companions day and night for the first six months. Now I use them just at night.
Yeast:
One thing that I didn’t know anything about was ductal yeast. I have had a low-grade case of ductal yeast during my entire nursing tenure and have ended up using anti-fungal cream daily. Yeast infections of the ducts can be quite serious and very painful. At its worst, I felt like the milk was coming out between shards of glass. I understand that moms who have antibiotics during delivery can be particularly susceptible to yeast infections. The key thing is getting help right away if you have any pain during nursing. Nursing should NOT be a painful experience.
Getting medical help:
On the subject of getting help, one thing that really irritated me was that no one really treated Sara and I together, except the hospital’s breastfeeding center. The obstetrician would deal only with my issues, and the pediatrician would deal only with Sara’s issues. With the yeast problem, where prescription medicine was needed for both of us, I felt like I was stuck in the middle between doctors who were not used to talking to each other.
Sara and I now have spent 14 months together, and she is still nursing quite regularly. Of course, she eats and snacks on regular food, but sometimes (especially when she is upset) there is just no substitute for the breast. I guess we have just done what you learn to do as a parent: Stick with what works!
At the beginning, I found nursing Sara hard work, but it has proven to be one of the most pleasurable aspects of our relationship. The bond with her when she is nursing is indescribable. Now that she is a toddler, nursing offers an oasis of quiet and comfort for both of us.
The Pump Can Be Your Friend
Once Sara started sleeping through the night, I found that I was overflowing with milk by morning. She would work one breast down when she woke up, and then I got in the habit of pumping the other breast down. Typically, I would get about 5 ounces of milk this way. This has been my babysitting milk supply. Even though I wasn’t planning to return to work, I invested in a good electric pump and have never regretted it. Pumping 5 ounces in the morning takes about 10 to 15 minutes out of my day and is definitely worth it.
The electric pump has also come in handy for long car trips. I purchased an adapter so that I could also use the pump in the car. Instead of stopping to nurse Sara en route, I just pump in the car and then feed Sara bottles as we drive.
Read more about breast pumps in Breastfeed.com’s Pumps and Pumping section.
