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Home › Expert Q&A › General Concerns › Misc Questions › My newborn refuses to take my breast. I'm giving him expressed milk now, but I'd like some advice on getting him back to my breast."

Expert Q&A

 

By Ann Calandro
BSN, RNC, IBCLC Lactation Consultant

I have been having extreme difficulties breastfeeding my third child. Oliver nursed immediately after delivery but became progressively more fussy at the breast during his first week. Then, on day 6 he refused to nurse at all. Oliver is now 16 days and has not nursed since then. We have been supplementing him with expressed milk through a syringe, cup or by finger feeding. Before giving him the supplement I try him at the breast. Occasionally he will take a few sucks but more often than not, he latches on and then pulls off immediately.

He will try this for about five minutes before getting progressively more annoyed. I usually take him away from the breast at this point -- I have tried calming him down and trying him at the breast again but usually he is so annoyed he refuses it completely. I will then give him an ounce or so of milk and then try again -- usually the results are the same.

We have a wonderful midwife who has been very supportive, we have also been to breastfeeding clinics and to a GP who is a lactation consultant. No one seems to be able to offer us any advice that is moving us more quickly towards our goal of getting Oliver onto the breast again.

The doctor we saw suggested a tough love approach, meaning withholding the supplement until he finally takes the breast. She says that babies will often take the breast after a day or so of this. This doesn't seem right to me (sort of like letting a baby cry it out at night) and I am not sure that it would work with Oliver. My midwife says I have largish nipples and she is not convinced that he is able to take the enough areola into his mouth at this time. She thinks he may ""grow into"" my breasts. She also says as an experienced mom I should trust my instincts and do what I think is best for my baby.

Having breastfed my other children for long periods of time (not without difficulty either!) I want to breastfeed him more than anything. I don't mind waiting it out if that means eventually this will work for us. However, if Oliver is ""manipulating"" us as the doctor suggested I don't want to continue as we have been if that is making things worse. She also suggested that after three weeks it is harder to get a child who has been refusing the breast to take it again she also said he could get addicted to the methods we have been using to feed him.

My husband has been very supportive but I can't help sometimes feeling I must be doing something wrong (although I have been assured that positioning, etc. is fine). I also feel like this is taking a toll on my older children and some days both Oliver and I are in tears after trying to get him to feed. Please, any assistance or advice you can offer would be much appreciated.

Thank you, Carlene and Oliver

Dear Carlene and Oliver,
It sounds like you have really worked hard to make breastfeeding succeed with Oliver, Carlene. You have done many really helpful things, like trying him at the breast, then feeding some with an alternative method, and then trying again. So far it hasn't worked, but with time, it should. You are providing him with breastmilk all the while.

Have you had him checked to be sure he doesn't have a tongue tie? A tight frenulum can make breastfeeding frustrating, as the baby sometimes cannot latch well. Did anything happen at his birth to possibly cause him to have a sore throat or sore gums (such as suctioning a lot, or having to put down a tube)?

If you have a very large nipple, you might consider using a nipple shield for a while. A clear silicone nipple shield can help to compress your breast and make it more baby-sized. It may get him back to the breast, and then after a few days of nursing with it in place it, you could try him without it.

Personally, I don't like the idea of making him wait to eat -- at all, ever. I don't believe that babies are manipulative. I believe he is probably just confused right now, and maybe somewhat frustrated. He needs extra attention, lots of skin-to-skin holding and lots of kisses and hugs.

I also see babies who seem to finally ""catch on"" to breastfeeding between 4 and 6 weeks of age. It seems like a light bulb comes on and Voila! I can't tell you how many babies all of a sudden just accept the breast and nurse like they had always been doing it. I have had many calls from joyfully crying moms who say -- ""Guess what! He is nursing!""

You might try not offering the breast at all for a couple of days, just feed him up close to your breast and between feeds hold him there so he can smell your milk and enjoy the closeness of you, with no pressure to latch on.

Some moms try nursing in the bathtub. Fill the tub with warm water and get all settled. Have your husband hand you naked Oliver. Try this before he gets real hungry. Let him immerse up to his chin and get the feel of the water all over his body. After he gets nice and cozy, draw him up onto your chest. If he begins sucking at his hands carefully slide him over to your breast, express out a few drops of milk, and see what happens. If no nursing occurs, at least you will both be clean and have had a pleasant experience. This has worked well for many mothers!

These are just a few ideas for you to ponder. If any of them sound OK to you, try them, and let me know when Oliver starts nursing. Meanwhile, keep pumping to protect your milk supply until he is ready to feed all by himself.

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