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Expert Q&A

	By Ann Calandro BSN, RNC, IBCLC Lactation Consultant

What are the benefits or lack of benefits for a child continuing to nurse at 2 1/2 to 3 years old? My granddaughter, while quite intelligent, who tends toward increasingly shutting out other family members, preferring the company of her mother, is not doing well at potty training and seems to be having problems with social skills with other children. I wonder if continuing nursing at her age could be a factor in the above. Her mother plans on nursing her until about 3 years old. She is 2 1/2 years old now."

Nursing for 2 1/2 years or longer is perfectly normal. Many children nurse this long or longer. Many mothers believe in ""child-led weaning,"" which means that they allow the child to nurse as long as the child has a need to nurse. The health benefits to the child will continue, even though they are getting less breast milk than they were as a baby and getting most of their nutrition from other foods.

Socially, 2 1/2-year-olds are just beginning to venture out to new relationships more and more, with Mom still the ""anchor"" or ""home base"" for them to return to when they need reassurance or comfort. They are still quite immature in many ways. Over the next year, I imagine this little girl will begin to assert her independence more and more, and you will see her beginning to blossom. By allowing her to stay dependent as long as she needs to be, this mom is giving her a special gift of self assurance that will last her whole life. Most mothers I know whose children have self weaned have very, very independent teenagers who are socially and psychologically healthy.

Perhaps this is the first time you have known a child to nurse this long. It can be a little disconcerting when it is not the usual parenting practice that you are familiar with. You are in for a real treat as this child grows and matures. Chances are, she will be a real joy to you in the coming years. Besides being smart and healthy, she is going to feel confident in herself. Give her a little time."

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