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October 22, 2002
Today has been a frustrating day for me. Aden threw his longest temper tantrum yet, a 20 minute screaming fit because, being the meanest mom in the universe that I apparently am, I wouldn't let him play outside in the cold rain when we got home from running errands.
This temper tantrum began when we were in front of the house in full view of all of our neighbors. And of course, I also had my arms full with my purse, 2 bags of groceries, and Katie, the little girl I am watching right now. Aden tried to run away from me, I tried to firmly hold his hand and guide him up the front steps, he pulled so hard I thought he would surely dislocate something in his arm, and then I somehow managed to pick him up and get everything inside.
15 minutes later he finally calmed down after I had tried hugs, giving him words to express how he felt (endless variations of "I'm know you feel mad/sad/upset you can't play outside"), distractions, and finally some good old-fashioned ignoring on my part. By then he had made Katie cry so they were both incredibly grouchy throughout lunch. Thank goodness for naptime.
All I can do now is wonder what I should have done differently and think about how nature really throws you a sucker punch by luring you into having a sweet helpless baby and then turning them into a frustrating toddler. And I also can't believe that I agreed to watch another toddler on top of my own!
This summer, when money was really tight because Derek was out of carpentry work for a while, I found myself wracking my brain for something I could do that would bring in some extra income. I never came up with anything viable but things got a little better and I stopped feeling so stressed about it.
As often happens, once I accepted our situation, the universe provided a solution. My friend Linda called out of the blue and asked, "Have you ever thought about doing childcare in your home?" It turns out that they were very unhappy with the situation at Katie's daycare and Linda didn't want to leave Katie with another stranger. Katie is only 5 weeks younger than Aden and they've always gotten along pretty well, so I decided to give it a try. I was afraid it would make me crazy, but most days it goes pretty well.
The first few days were rough as Aden adjusted to sharing his mama and as I learned how to do everything with two kids in tow. Now the two entertain each other and play together like a couple of puppies. They jabber and mimic each other constantly. Aden shows Katie affection by trying to sit on her, and on one memorable morning he tried to feed her potting soil. Katie doesn't walk yet but her cruising has really taken off in the last few weeks as she has watched Aden run, climb, and dance. On the days Katie isn't here Aden seems bored by playing with just me. So all in all, watching Katie has been great.
Today's tantrum gave me pause though. I'm not sure how to deal with one temper tantrum, let alone the possibility of two at once. I had never considered the magnification effect one child could have on another. I know those of you with multiple kids probably think this is silly because you deal with it all the time. I'm sure that when I have more than one child of my own I'll develop new styles of parenting that address this issue. But for now, because I've spent the last 15 months learning how to parent one child and now for 9 hours of my day I have instant twins, I'm at a loss. So any suggestions, about either Aden's blossoming tantrums or dealing with two children at once, would be much appreciated. Help!
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