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April 5, 2004
An absolutely lovely day! (4-5-04)
I had a wonderful day yesterday that I wanted to write about so it’s not forgotten. It began with the arrival of Daylight Savings time, a silly little thing, but it means that Aden will be waking up at 7:45 instead of 6:45. I know it’s really the same time, but it’s all about your perception… :) And then there’s that extra hour of glorious sunshine at the end of the day—all in all, such a nice change!
Fran (my midwife) and Sarieah (my friend and doula) were both supposed to meet with us at our house at noon. We called Fran in the morning and left a message asking if she could bring another birth video for us to watch with Aden. I forgot to write about it in my entry a few days ago, but last weekend we borrowed a video from her called “Family Centered Birth” to help prepare Aden for what he might see and hear when I’m in labor. He absolutely loves it! I didn’t think he absorbed much the first time we watched it, but the next day we were playing at the park with a friend when he suddenly ran up to her and said, “Mama’s going to have a baby, and she might make noises, and she’ll work hard, and she’ll push the baby out, and I going to be with my Mimi Joyce!” LOL. He’s talked about it or asked to watch it again every day since, and he’s getting very excited and impatient for me to “push the baby out.” :)
As we were eating lunch, Sarieah called to say she was running a bit late because of the time change, and I figured Fran might be late too. Sarieah arrived at 12:30 and it soon became obvious that Fran must be at a birth, since she hadn’t shown up and hadn’t returned our call from earlier in the morning. At first I was disappointed that I wouldn’t see her that day after all, and wouldn’t be able to discuss all of the labor and birth process with both my midwife and doula at once. But after we started working with Sarieah I was kind of glad that we could just focus on her role, and how she was going to help me—it made the afternoon much simpler. (Fran did call around 3:00 to apologize for missing our appointment. “It’s a boy, and they named him Daniel!” she said. Midwives lead such interesting, yet topsy-turvy, lives!)
Sarieah stayed for 3 hours and luckily Aden went down for a nap and slept for nearly the entire visit, so we were able to concentrate and have a fantastic time. First we practiced a relaxation exercise, and I was proud of Derek for jumping right in and working with her and improvising based on what he knew I would like. He was such an awesome labor partner last time and I’m looking forward to going through this experience with him again! :) And let me say, I was so completely relaxed and blissed out by the end of that exercise, it was wonderful! Then we chatted for a while and I eventually hauled my very comfortable body off the couch so we could review some positions that work well with the birth ball. Sitting on it has felt very comfortable to me these last few weeks so I anticipate wanting to use it a lot in labor, and she had great ideas that I never would have thought of. We spent a lot of time on that, and then we moved upstairs to our bedroom (where I anticipate I will want to be during the birth) to actually role-play some pushing positions.
That proved to be the most helpful part of the entire afternoon. Of course, I’ve been picturing the birth in my mind for months, and I’ve especially been mentally rehearsing the standing and squatting positions for pushing that might be most effective and prevent some of the tearing that I had last time. I noticed when I first began picturing this birth, it was hard to imagine having the baby anywhere other than semi-reclined on the bed—not that there’s anything wrong with that if it feels best at the time, but I wanted to be open and receptive to other places and positions as well. The more I pictured my other options the more natural they felt, but I’m not sure I ever would have thought to actually “try them out” had Sarieah not mentioned it and helped us. I felt silly at first, but I could immediately feel that some positions would feel very ineffective, or not secure enough, or even counter-productive, while others felt very natural and instinctive.
So far what feels best is having Derek sitting on the edge of the bed with his arms locked around my upper body so I can brace myself against him and squat either facing him or facing out. It will be hard to rest my legs much between pushes in that position, but I’m hoping that 20 minutes of pushing with Aden means I will not be in a pushing position for long this time! Of course there were other things that worked well too that might be better if it’s taking longer, or maybe something entirely new and different will feel right at the time instead… at any rate, it was just wonderful to work together like that, and feel more prepared for the upcoming event. There were many times during the afternoon that I thought, “This all feels so familiar, I’m ready to do this!” That’s the only downside to being prepared… getting all geared up and then just sitting around and waiting!
Speaking of waiting, it’s very odd to be in this place again (which I remember all too well from the long wait for Aden) where I know things could happen at any moment, and any odd sensation makes me pause for a second. I certainly don’t feel impatient yet, and I’m still feeling very comfortable—in fact, I think that other than the pelvic pain and the minor annoyances of heartburn, constant peeing, and frequent B-H contractions, I am feeling better towards the end of the pregnancy than I did for much or possible any of the rest of it. My swelling is still nearly undetectable, I can eat whatever I want, I can finally take my prenatals without any fear of vomiting or nausea afterwards, I’m feeling more invigorated and energetic, and I’m even able to approach parenting in a more fun and patient manner than I have for most of the last month. Money is still a huge source of stress for us (we played the bill-paying/monthly budget game last night and lost miserably, ouch!) but I think even that didn’t get me down for as long as it normally would in my hormonal state. This is just really a good and peaceful place for me to be right now.
I think something else that has helped is realizing how many friends we have and how many people care about us. After our visit with Sarieah I went to another friend’s house for the most lovely baby shower that anyone could have asked for. My 12 closest friends were there—11 mama friends whom I’ve been blessed to meet through our local AP and LLL groups and 1 college friend whom I’ve only grown closer to as we’ve journeyed through parenthood (something which, sadly, does not always happen). For the first hour we sat around and visited while eating delicious hors d’oeuvres (fruits, veggies, stuffed mushrooms, chips and dip, and a gourmet pizza). It had been a while since we’d had any kind of mama-only get together so it was really nice to just relax and chat with everyone. There were no shower games—thank goodness!—but my friend Kasee was wonderful and offered to make a commemorative quilt for this baby, just as she did for Aden. Everyone at the shower decorated one quilt block, and she will sew them all together into a very special baby quilt. :)
After that we had dessert (apple cheesecake, chocolate mousse, cupcakes, and Italian cream cake—yum!) and I opened gifts. I got so many wonderful little girl clothes, pink and purple blankets and washcloths, packages of diapers, a baby monitor, an Avent Isis pump, aromatherapy items for myself, a gift certificate for a pregnancy massage, and much more. I can’t say enough about how generous my friends have been! Several people had to leave as I was opening gifts or shortly afterwards, but the rest of us stayed and you could tell that no one wanted the evening to be over. It was just so lovely, and part of such a perfect day. I can’t even describe it except to say that even now I feel so peaceful and loved and blessed. I hope I was able to share a little bit of that feeling with all of you!
Tara
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