 | Diary Navigation:
|
February 18, 2004
"For every up, there is a down…" (2-18-04)
Another month has gone by and I just can’t believe it! Every time I start to compose an entry in my head, something new happens in our lives and the old entry loses all relevance. I end up not writing anything at all. :( But just in the interest of catching up, I’ve recapped a few of the entries I’ve *meant* to write over the last month, and I posted them all today. Here are the dates and titles for those if you are interested:
“Fenced in and loving it.” (1-17-04)
“Okay, can we just get to the punch line of this bad joke?” (2-4-04)
“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!” (2-7-04)
The gist of my life for the last month has been this: something good happens and I feel renewed optimism about life, and then something bad happens and I want to retreat from the world altogether, and then something good, and then something bad… I have to say, even though I feel like things are gradually sinking from bad to worse, that I’m really glad the good things are happening to break up the monotony of bad news followed by more bad news. How’s that for looking on the bright side? :)
We started off last week by sliding our car into the ditch on the way home from Derek’s lovely birthday weekend. Luckily it was a slow slide so we were all okay, but we were completely stuck in the ditch at an angle, with snow up to the window on my (the passenger) side of the car. We had been on the way to a friend’s house out in the country and were pretty much in the middle of nowhere. The whole thing was not that scary really, just one of those, “well, crap, what are we going to do now?” kind of things.
It was not actually snowing at the time, but the wind was so strong that it was blowing snow across the road, burying the road and making it almost impossible to get through. I’ve never seen conditions quite like it, but I know now that if snow is blowing across the road, it is kind of like a flash flood—do not drive through it, because you have no idea how deep it is or what is being hidden from your sight. Anyway, within about 15 minutes a couple drove by in a large 4x4 truck and were able to use a tow chain to pull us out. I was so grateful that they stopped! As soon as they got us out we turned around and followed them back to the main roads. As we drove back the way we came we really got a sense of how strong the wind was, because several other vehicles had driven by within 5 minutes of the time we got pulled out and the wind and snow had already completely covered their tire tracks.
On the way home we discovered that sometime during the slide or the process of being towed out, we had lost power steering. I have to say, finding out that we had one more car problem to deal with that was going to cost more money… well, I didn’t exactly handle that well. Actually there were many things I didn’t handle well last week. The dog having another seizure and an unexpected visit to the vet. My husband leaving nearly every day last week to go to meetings, or a legislative hearing, or to help his dad work on a house when I really wanted him to be taking advantage of his time off by working on *our* house. Aden getting up at 6 am every morning and then being a cranky, sleepy, teething mess for the rest of the day. It just left me feeling like a grumpy, moody, out-of-control, hormonal crazy woman all week. Not really something to be proud of, that’s for sure.
Every time I apologized for being so moody and wondered aloud what was wrong with me, my husband ventured, “Maybe it’s because you’re pregnant?” On one level I know it’s true, that the pregnancy hormones combined with all the stress of the last few months would probably make anyone feel like this. But on the other hand, I hate blaming anything on pregnancy. I want to enjoy the wonder of what is going on, not spend the entire time feeling miserable and wishing it was over. I already feel guilty that I have not enjoyed this pregnancy as much as I did with Aden. I find myself thinking that I am tired of it and I want to be done, but then that makes me sad because this may be the last time I experience this miracle and I should be treasuring every moment. Sure, the pregnancy may be making everything else a little more difficult to cope with, but it’s also a constant reminder of the more important things in life, of the blessings we share no matter what our financial situation is.
So anyway, I finally decided that I just couldn’t be so grumpy anymore. No more feeling sorry for myself. I found an old mix tape I’d made in high school or junior high and put it on while I started manically cleaning my kitchen. It is really hard to stay upset when you are singing “I’m Too Sexy” at the top of your lungs and have a sparkling clean sink to boot. I highly recommend it. So that was the turning point of my week. After that I just focused on being productive and controlling what I could control. It took until Friday to stop being frustrated with Derek though, but he finally started helping out. In about 30 minutes he fixed one of the kitchen cabinet shelves that had fallen down and he installed the new kitchen blinds, and it’s amazing how much happier I felt towards him! If men only understood that the little things can mean so much…
We had a nice Valentine’s Day on Saturday. I’m in a social group called Beta Sigma Phi and we have a Valentine Ball every year. We had fun last year (I love having an excuse to get dressed up and go out!) but it’s a little expensive and I don’t think we normally would have chosen to spend the money on it. But my chapter voted me Valentine Queen and paid for us to go! It was just so nice to know we had something fun and special to do that was also free! So my mom came up to babysit (I asked her if she’d like a short blond date for Valentine’s Day, LOL!) and we had a great time.
I wore a stretchy, fitted maternity top (the one I wore to dinner in Chicago, for the gals who were there) with black slacks and one of the best things about the evening was that everyone kept commenting how great I looked, and how small, and they couldn’t believe I only had 2 ˝ months left. I guess it’s true, even though I *feel* huge and uncomfortable I have not really gotten very big yet. This baby is taking up every available inch of space inside rather than making her way outwards. My fundus has been sitting right under my rib cage for about the last month and her favorite position is to have her butt wedged up there as tight as can be on my right side. Aden must have laid more on my left, because I notice I am getting new stretch marks on my right but not on my left. I guess that side was stretched to the max last time, LOL! Of course the drawbacks of carrying inside rather than out front are the shortness of breath and nighttime heartburn… but at 30 weeks I can also still wear my favorite old t-shirts, so I’m not complaining!
One cute story to end on—now that we have that new bathroom sink and faucet, Aden can stand on a stepstool, turn the water on by himself, and wash his own hands. (Our old sink had wider edges so he couldn’t reach the handles or the running water even from his stepstool.) We always used to keep his step stool stored on the side of the sink where the hot water handle was because that was more convenient in our bathroom, but when I realized he could turn the water on himself I moved the step stool to the other side. As I was moving it I explained that he needed to only turn on the cold water and not the hot so he wouldn’t get hurt. “The hot water might BURN me?” he asked, and I nodded. “It might BURNT me to a cracker?” Burnt to a cracker… LOL! The things kids say!
Have a good week, everyone!
 |  |
|
want to keep a diary on iParenting?
Authoring a diary on the iParenting network allows you to chronicle your family's story, preserving it for years to come. It's also a great way to get the most out of the iParenting community. Click here to start...
|
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families. 
