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April 18, 2001
More thoughts on weaning…
We've had a pretty good week this week. For one thing, I'm feeling so much better. It's great to be out of the first trimester! I can eat without getting sick to my stomach, and my energy level has gone way up. It makes those everyday stresses so much easier to manage. I'm starting to show a little too which is a lot of fun. It's strange. When I was pregnant the first time the changes in my body really bothered me. I hated the fact that I was getting bigger and rounder even though I knew that it was perfectly natural. But now, I'm enjoying it! It's fun to look pregnant. I know I keep saying this, but it makes such a big difference having gone through this before. Now I know that none of these stages of pregnancy last forever. It makes me want to hold onto each phase as long as it lasts, since I know that I might never experience it again.
As for breastfeeding Kara, I've pretty much decided that I'm not going to make an effort to wean her. Of course if she wants to wean on her own, I won't to pressure her to nurse. But if she decides to continue through the pregnancy and after the new baby is born, I am going to let her. It just hit me over the weekend. We were up at the mountains with my in-laws and some family friends came over for a visit: another young mom, Jennifer (who has two kids—a three-year-old and a 7-month baby), and Jennifer's mother-in-law. Anyway, we were talking about kids and the transition from one child to two, when the subject of nursing came up. Jennifer nursed her little boy and is currently nursing her baby, so she's definitely pro-breastfeeding. But when she asked me how long I nursed Kara, she seemed really surprised to hear that we are still nursing. So I gave her my standard response about how it really hadn't been that difficult nursing while pregnant, but that I was trying to decide whether or not to wean Kara before the new baby came. Both Jennifer and her mother-in-law were fine during the conversation, and didn't judge me or say anything negative, but it sure made me feel like a freak! I just wanted to be a normal mom, so I decided that I would make an effort to wean Kara. That afternoon, however, I was tired and cranky and Kara was tired and cranky, so we went to my room, cuddled on my bed, nursed and napped. It was so relaxing—just what we both needed. And that night when I asked Kara if she wanted to read stories instead of nursing before bed, she decided to nurse. (Of course at first she wanted to do both, but when I explained to her that it was either one or the other, nursing won out, hands down!)
The thing is I still really enjoy nursing Kara. I don't feel tied down at all. It is still a very special bond that we share. She also seems to really need it. I could try to encourage her to wean, but I feel so ambivalent about it that I'm sure she could sense it, which would make it all the more difficult. Also, I don't really have a good reason to wean. Yes I'm nervous about nursing two kids, but I don't know for sure that it would cause big problems. I was nervous and worried about nursing while pregnant, but none of the things that concerned me have happened—I don't feel really sick, it doesn't seem to be draining all my energy, and my nipples aren't even sore! If Kara is still nursing in the third trimester, I plan to do lots of research on tandem nursing, so I'm prepared for the potential difficulties. I figure there are going to be adjustments to having two kids, no matter what. This will be just one more thing that we have to deal with.
So, I guess I'll be a weirdo, and nurse throughout my pregnancy and as long as my little girl wants to continue. I must say that I've felt such peace since making this decision. It really seems to be the right choice, for us and for now. I also feel so lucky that I have a supportive husband and family. Scott has been great about my continued nursing relationship with Kara. He hasn't pressured me at all to wean her. Our families have asked some gentle questions about how long we plan to continue, but no one has been critical. It makes such a huge difference to have that support.
Hope all you moms and future moms have a wonderful week! Thanks to those who sent me a note in my feedback forum that there are people out there reading this! It's great to hear from you!
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