Breastfeeding was something that I had always intended to do. I never imagined that I would have any problems with it. But to my dismay, when my son was born he could not latch on. Thankfully the hospital I was in had a wonderful lactation nurse who worked with my son and I for 5 days until he could finally latch on somewhat. Those 5 days were extremely stressful for me. I felt so guilty -- as if the breastfeeding problems we were having were my fault.

We had to begin teaching my son to nurse by taping a tube to my finger and have him drink formula through the tube. I was very upset about using formula but my milk had not come in sufficiently to feed him. The next step in the process was taping the tube to my breast so that he would get used to feeling of my nipple in his mouth. However, he still was having formula through the tube. Finally he began to latch on somewhat and I started to feed him solely with my breast. I didn't have any further problems after that point and I began to feel very proud that I was breastfeeding successfully.

I am still happily nursing my son who is now an active toddler. Most of the time I only nurse him at night, except for the occasional days when he is sick and wants to nurse more often. Over the past year and a half, I have found that breastfeeding has become a way of life for me. It has made me more confident as a women and had increased my self-esteem and body image. The only problem that I am faced with now is the negative criticism that I occasionally receive when someone finds out I am nursing a toddler. I suppose that many people are still not comfortable with this idea.

I can understand now why some women give up on breastfeeding when they don’t succeed at it right away. It can be very frustrating initially for both mother and baby. I hope that my diary will help other mothers who are breastfeeding, especially those who choose to do so past the first year.

Your sister in breastfeeding -- Ketherine