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Home › Articles › Weaning › The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning

The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning

Part 1

By Kathleen Huggins, R.N., M.S. and Linda Ziedrich

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Preferences about breastfeeding and weaning vary by class, region, and family, but these variations aren't absolute; they are only statistical. Every woman must decide for herself what is best for her and her child. Our heterogeneous society gives us a lot of freedom in when and how we wean, but also an inescapable responsibility to understand what we are doing and why. Yet advice on weaning is hard to come by, and often contradictory.

From the child's point of view, generally, the later the weaning the better. Babies weaned after about four months are much less susceptible to gastrointestinal illness from contaminated formula or feeding equipment. After eight to ten months, a baby can wean directly to a cup, avoiding the dangers of overdependence on a bottle (see "The Hazards of Formula Feeding" in Chapter 1). At the end of the first year a baby's immune system functions at 60 percent of adult capability, so the loss of her mother's antibodies isn't as dangerous as before. After eighteen months or so, a child is over the worst of separation anxiety; the loss of the breast is a much smaller threat to her security now. At about age three, a child leaves behind the aggressive independence of the toddler years, and will usually wean easily and amicably. And after age four or so, a child can take pride in making her own decision to give up nursing, and may talk about her nursing years with love and gratitude forever after.

Breastfeeding From the mother's point of view, the benefits of late weaning aren't so clear. Whereas some mothers love the intimacy and relaxation of breastfeeding, others complain about being "tied down" or feeling "like a cow." For these women, being physically tied to a child through breastfeeding may accentuate the burdensome aspect of parenting, which in our society can be isolating and even impoverishing. Most women, actually, feel somewhat ambivalent about breastfeeding; at times nursing may seem a tender joy, at other times an annoyance. Breastfeeding women may naturally wonder if bottle feeding would make mothering easier. Even if a woman loves to nurse, sore nipples, criticism from family members, pregnancy, or some other problem may drive her to wean sooner than she would otherwise. Weaning may bring relief; however, most women who wean in the early months end up wishing they hadn't.


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