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Home › Articles › Weaning › I Don't Want to Wean!

I Don't Want to Wean!

What Does Extended Nursing Really Mean?

By Ann Calandro, RNC, IBCLC

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Fill in the blank: Breastfeeding is great up until the age of _____________.

What comes to mind when you hear the words "extended nursing"? Extended beyond what? What is the average age of weaning in the culture where you live? How long is the longest you would consider nursing your baby? Have you ever thought about it?

Breastfeeding is a natural feeding choice. In the United States, some mothers begin breastfeeding, planning to continue for six weeks or six months or one year. As the babies reach those ages, weaning begins. Other mothers begin breastfeeding with similar plans, but those plans alter as their babies grow. Perhaps these moms realize how important the breastfeeding relationship is to them and their babies, or they may find parenting easier with breastfeeding. In the end, these moms may decide to "extend" their plans a bit.

A Historical Perspective
Contemplating the birth of my first child back in 1976, I planned to breastfeed her for six weeks. I'm not sure what made me plan to breastfeed for six weeks, but I believe several factors were involved in my decision. First, my mother had breastfed me for six weeks. I remembered as a child when she smilingly told me how important it was to "give your baby a good start." She also told me sadly that her milk dried up after six weeks. I assumed mine would too. (My mother was a heavy smoker, and it is now known that heavy smoking may affect the quantity of milk.)

Second, I was going back to work in six weeks. The formula samples and information I had received both at the hospital and in the mail had encouraged me to believe – in subtle and not so subtle ways – that it would soon be a necessary part of my baby's life. I was surrounded by slick baby magazines that assumed I would soon need those colorful bottles, nipples, pacifiers and cans of formula. Most everyone I knew was bottle-feeding. My personal culture had set me up for weaning my baby at six weeks.

When I gave birth and began nursing, I wasn't thinking much beyond those first six weeks. When I went back to work, I left her with bottles of formula. I decided I would nurse her part time when I was at home for a short while.

My baby gagged on formula. She disliked the feel of bottle nipples. She preferred me. She would politely wait until I got home from work to eat and eat and eat. I decided to wait before weaning her. Breastfeeding was too important.

As the months passed, breastfeeding turned into nursing and became a relaxed and joyous part of our lives. I couldn't imagine not nursing her. We nursed for six months, then 10 months. We nursed into toddlerhood. We nursed through my next pregnancy and after her sister was born. She weaned with a little encouragement from me just after she turned 4 years old.

My other three children also nursed well beyond my original, cultural expectation of weaning. Shocking? It sure would have been to me back in early 1976. As a pediatric nurse caring for very ill babies, I wasn't exposed to breastfed babies. However, motherhood changed me. I put aside my preconceived notions and began to follow my instincts. I became involved in La Leche League, and my group of peers believed in child-led weaning. (I felt in my heart that this was right for me and my children, too. I am no longer a nursing mother, but I am still fascinated with the history of nursing and eagerly read about breastfeeding patterns in other cultures. You might be surprised to know that the average worldwide age of weaning is about 4 years of age.)

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