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Straight Talk About Real Babies
Defining New-mom Expectations
By Ann Calandro, BSN, RNC, IBCLC
Crying is not normal either. Despite the sage advice of some grandmothers, crying isn't good for Baby's lungs. When you hear your baby cry, your heart will tell you so. Crying causes your baby's cortisol levels to go up, his blood pressure to go up and his whole life to become unbalanced so that he doesn't feed or relax well. When your baby cries, your instinct is to do everything in your power to solve his problem so that the crying will stop. Newborn wailing is meant to be very grating and to spur you into action. Most times with breastfeeding babies, your touch or your breast is the instant solution whether baby is thirsty, hungry, cold or afraid. Think you might need a magic wand? You have been blessed with two!
Think about the size of your baby's brain. According to Sharon Heller's book, The Vital Touch: How Intimate Contact With Your Baby Leads to Happier, Healthier Development, human babies' brains are 25 percent of the size they will be as adults. Since babies must fit through the birth canal, their brains must wait to grow until after they are born. She says that, "in a sense, we're all born premature, not ready for life until 8 or 9 months of age, when we begin to crawl and venture forth on our own." Only the marsupials, such as kangaroos and opossums have less mature babies, and they remain attached to Mother for a long period of time to make up for lack of time in the womb.
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Re: by anonymous on 05/05/2010 02:16PM
Kind of a limiting article with the same old arguments. We live in a culture that judges you for not breastfeeding for 6 months but then only gives you 6 weeks of maternity leave. We should be giving Mom's as many options as possible without the judgement and guilt. Yes breast is best but I'm fairly certain you couldn't walk into a college 101 class and identify those who had breast vs. formula. It's ok to do both just use your best judgement as a Mom and take a deep breath. You know what's best for your child. Remember too that fads come and go, 1000 year old bottles have been found by archeologists, in the past wet nurses were used by the wealthy, most baby boomers were bottle fed, and now breast is best. There's a constant evolution of change in thought and practice when it comes to rearing infants. Don't judge yourself too harshly.
Re: THANK YOU! by anonymous on 05/27/2009 05:41PM
Thank you for this! I found myself nodding in agreement the whole time! I have to continuously defend these practices to family and others, and then they are surprised at how happy and healthy my baby is! All I keep hearing is that my baby is spoiled b/c I pick her up when she cries and I let her sleep in my room (Btw, she sleeps happily most of the night). I'm also told my breast milk is no good and I need to formula feed because my baby seems hungry more often. I'm sending this article to every new mother I know!
Re: thank you by thank you by christine on 02/19/2009 08:34PM
Thank you so much! I am a new mom. This is my first child and you turned me around so I didn't make a mistake. I am breastfeeding and I was so stressed out because I was following the two, three hour feedings time but she was crying so much. Well now I know and I know that my baby will be fine now. Thank you.
Kudos by Bren on 02/04/2009 05:04PM
This is such a great article! Every new mom should read it. I don't know how many women I've heard say their baby just wasn't getting enough to eat because they were crying all the time. This spells it all out and helps people understand what is normal behavior in a breastfed baby vs. a formula-fed baby.
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I was going to supplement, Thank You for this article by Marcia on 07/30/2010 11:35PM
I was concerned that my seven week old baby girl was not getting enough because she is not as "happy" as my nieces baby, who is a few months older. She is formula fed, my daughter is breastfed. I tried to do the every three to four hours but that is obviously not working. I should really be feeding her every couple of hours. Thank you for your article, it made me decide I don't need to supplement with formula, my breastmilk is just fine.