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You Want to What?
Breastfeeding Around
Your Sex Life
Your Sex Life
By Phyllis Edgerly Ring
By the time new mothers get to bed, they're often too exhausted to keep their eyes open. When they manage to find the time – and energy – for intimacy, the interruptions can make their sex life a distant memory.
"The demands of my children and juggling a job exhausted me the first year, and definitely affected our sex, or at least the quantity of it," says Drue Ann Ramirez of Pomona, Calif., who breastfed her oldest son for 26 months and has nursed her younger son for 28 months. "The doctor gave the OK after six weeks, but I was disinterested the first six months."
Sore and tender breasts, vaginal dryness and fatigue were all factors that made sexual relations infrequent for Tina Warren of Tullahoma, Tenn., the mother of three.
"Before Baby, it was Husband and Wife as lovers – now it's Mother and Father," says lactation consultant Susan Condon of The Breastfeeding Helpline in San Francisco, Calif. "The family is adjusting to the many changes a new baby brings. Sleep deprivation and days on end where mothers can't even take a few minutes to shower can cause jangled nerves and fatigue. There may not be much time for the parents to even be alone with one another."
This common reality for new mothers can be compounded by other factors for those who breastfeed, Condon says. "The baby's needs come first, as the baby is totally dependent on the mother for food."
Going through childbirth and the postpartum period may bring other changes. A less-than-optimal birth experience, or an episiotomy or Cesarean section, can result in painful stitches. Other complications, such as health problems with the baby, may leave mothers feeling disappointed or vulnerable and decrease their desire for sexual intimacy, Condon says.
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