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Who's the Mom?
You Can Successfully Breastfeed Despite Your Mom By Kelly Burgess
When Cindy Curtis decided to breastfeed her first child, her mother didn't exactly disapprove, but she was worried about one thing: Could her small-breasted daughter produce enough milk? On the other hand, my mother-in-law made no secret of her disapproval of my decision to breastfeed her grandchildren. She thought if I nursed she would be left out of the bonding process. In both cases, the grandparent's fears were proved to be unfounded. Curtis, an IBCLC, and administrator of Breastfeeding Online, says that in both of our cases, as in most cases, the issue really boils down to education.
In other words, most of our mothers did not breastfeed and don't really understand the process. In some families (including my own), breastfeeding may have been considered embarrassing or for the financially strapped – in other words, something only those who couldn't afford to buy formula were "forced" to do.
Curtis says that in her practice she does get skeptical grandparents, and the hospital where she works actually has a brochure they hand out to prospective parents to give to the grandparents-to-be explaining the benefits of breastfeeding. "The brochure is a quick and easy read and explains why breastfeeding is good and why our point of view has changed," says Curtis. "If I see them, I tell them myself. I take the approach of, 'Well, don't you want your grandbaby to be the healthiest and smartest baby around?' and I let them know that breastfeeding can give that great start. Sometimes they just take the information more to heart if it comes from a professional."
Curtis also urges parents who are facing disapproval from their own parents to invite the grandparents to one of the hospital's classes to learn more. But, she notes, this is an issue where the husband and wife have to stand firm – and together. "We try to put some of the burden of explaining to the parents on the dad, especially if it's his mother that's the problem," says Curtis. "Sometimes we get people who are very adamant that the new mom shouldn't breastfeed, and the mom shouldn't have to deal with that on her own. [Dad] needs to continually follow through."