quick clicks

babies today articles

babies today q&a

toddlers today articles

toddlers today q&a

breastfeed.com articles

breastfeed.com q&a

community & groups

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

I Don't Want to Wean!

What Does Extended Nursing Really Mean?

By Ann Calandro, RNC, IBCLC

As a lactation consultant, I am frequently asked weaning questions. I work in South Carolina, an area where bottle-feeding is the norm. Sometimes mothers call me wanting information about the best way to wean their babies. I always encourage gradual weaning to make the transition easier for both Mother and Baby. I also explore with each mother her reason for weaning.

I have heard many, many reasons for weaning. Sometimes it is due to pressure from a partner who "has had enough of this nursing stuff." Sometimes, it is due to a medical professional advising weaning due to a medication or a treatment. (This can be unnecessary. It is always best to get a second opinion in this case.) Other times, Mother is asking about weaning but really doesn't want to wean. She just wants to know her options. (I usually recommend that she read How Weaning Happens by Diane Bengson. This book is very useful to mothers who are beginning to consider this step.)

"Ideally, the way weaning happens for you and your child will provide a satisfying conclusion to a rewarding breastfeeding relationship," Bengson says. "It can be like a surprising, revealing end to a good novel. Some mothers say weaning is like a joyous, but tearful 'bon voyage' at the beginning of a new adventure. Weaning signals the end of the breastfeeding relationship, but also a step taken in trust that the mother-child relationship remains close and significant for both of you."

Sometimes babies wean themselves before their mothers are ready. Sometimes mothers wean before babies are ready. Sometimes weaning is like a dance; a beautiful gentle waltz, moving slower and slower until it gradually ends. Sometimes weeks pass before Mother realizes the dance is over. She doesn't even remember when the music stopped.