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Why I Choose to Breastfeed
The Winning Entry in our Spring 2002 Essay Contest
By Penny Thomas
I chose to breastfeed for many reasons with my firstborn: It was economical and the healthiest choice, in my opinion, to feed a baby. I was very nervous; I had never really seen anyone nurse before. It was like this special secret that new mommies got to experience, and I could hardly wait for my turn.
The first three days were easy as pie. I thought I was an expert! Then my milk came in and he really started nursing – fiercely. By day five, I was bleeding and scabbed and crying my eyes out every two to three hours. Of course, I was too proud to admit that I needed help. By the end of the first week, I was ready to give up.
"I'm a failure," I said to my husband. It was at that point he looked me straight in the eye and told me, "You wanted to nurse. I know how much this means to you and how important it is for you to not give up. My wife does not give up. She is not a quitter. You need help. Swallow your pride and get it!" That made me cry even harder.
We had our one-week check up the next day. I was dreading it. I knew the doctor was going to ask the question I loathed to hear. "How is the breastfeeding coming along?" I had tried so hard not to cry. I told myself the whole way there that I would not cry. Well, so much for the pep talk! I burst into tears. "It's horrible! I hate it! I can't do it. I am a failure."
