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Straight Talk About Real Babies
Defining New-mom Expectations
By Ann Calandro, BSN, RNC, IBCLC
I then ask the mothers, "Before you changed to formula, was your baby gaining weight well and having plenty of wet diapers and bowel movements?"
"Oh, yes," they say. "That was going well." I have come to understand that the reason these moms quit is not that their baby is not growing well or that they did not have enough milk, but because they didn't want to feed as often as the baby needed to eat and felt that by switching to an artificial food, the baby would be "happier" and "more content." Their baby would behave more like TV babies. Their perception was that something was wrong because their babies ate often. Perhaps that feeling was reinforced by "helpful" friends or family members.
Newborn Sleep
I make it a point to discuss normal newborn physiology in my prenatal breastfeeding classes so that parents understand what is natural for babies. First I teach them that newborns are really very immature at birth. Many babies are induced earlier than their due dates so that they are even less mature. Boys are less mature at birth (and throughout life) than girls.
Dr. Marshall Klaus says that human babies are the least developed of mammals, take the longest to mature and need a lot of holding and stroking, especially in the early months. Babies need the closeness of human contact, just like baby puppies or kittens. No book could convince Mama Cat that her kittens would be better off sleeping far away from her!
Why then do we expect human babies, who are even less mature for longer periods of time, to feel safe and calm in their crib in their room? Every afternoon when I do follow-up telephone calls to new mothers, a mother will say to me "My baby has his days and nights mixed up." I reply that when it is dark and quiet, babies feel unsafe in the early days, not knowing if a bear or a wolf is close by and is going to attack, so they wake up and express their fear. Good for them! It is a survival mechanism.
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