The Battle for the Breast

Curbing Competitive Nursing Between Twin Toddlers

Nursing twins can be challenging, but many mothers who get past the first few weeks find the nursing relationship incredibly rewarding. The special time spent with both babies during breastfeeding often enhances the mother-children relationship. Because of the tight bonds formed, it's easy to see why nursing continues past the first birthday.

Abby Aldrich of Chesaning, Mich., knows how easily nursing soothes her twin girls. "Lena and Liberty frequently ask to nurse when they find themselves dealing with some of the frustration of being 18 months old," Aldrich says. "There are a lot of frustration nursing sessions with two 18-month-olds constantly in each other's face and playing with each other's toys."

But Aldrich soon discovered that while nursing can make life's little problems seem much smaller for the girls, her twins were also becoming competitive with each other rivaling for nursing time. This revelation happened when she and her husband began pairing off with the toddlers on the weekends to give them special adult-child time.

"Those times spent with just one child have really shown me that there is a lot of what I call jealous nursing," says Aldrich. "If we're home and Libby asks to nurse, Lena will definitely come running over and nurse too unless she is really engrossed in a project." Aldrich says both twins are equally competitive.

"It's as if when they're together, whoever asks first is only asking because she doesn't want the other one to ask first," she says. "It's silly. But when I am with just Lena or just Libby, they hardly ask to nurse at all."

Curbing competitive nursing isn't easy, but once Aldrich recognized that many of their nursing sessions were initiated by the need to be "first," she employed a favorite game to distract her twins when one of them asked to nurse.

"If Lena asks first, I usually tell her to find her cup, which of course leads her to scramble off of my lap and look around with her hands raised saying, 'Where cuppy? Where cuppy?'

"That gets Liberty running around with the same perplexed look and hands raised in the same little pose saying, 'Where cuppy?' until all I hear is a chorus of 'Where cuppy? Where cuppy?' and all I see are two little girls searching high and low, under the couch, in the toy box, out the window, until I finally produce their cups from the refrigerator. Then we have a celebration because they found their cuppies, and they're so happy to have their precious cuppies. Then they get to come up on my lap for cuddles and a story.

"That usually works if all they really wanted was some cuddle time," Aldrich says. "But sometimes all they really want to do is nurse. And that's OK, too."

Want to see more?

• Breastfeeding Twins Series: Educating Yourself
• Breastfeeding Twins Series: Planning and Prioritizing
• Breastfeeding Twins Series: Support and Flexibility
• Breastfeeding Twins Series: Keeping Track of Who, What and When
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